Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
