1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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