Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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