Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize