I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
