Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We smell like vodka and hangover
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