So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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