If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
