my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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