i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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