In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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