I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
