in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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