Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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