she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
