I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
