awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
