I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
