My room smells like vodka and shame
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wish there were birth control emojis
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
