Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
