I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
