are you still at the devil's house?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
