Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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