no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
