I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
