it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize