youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
