She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
