i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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