dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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