standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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