but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we're making bets on your personal life
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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