and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I could fuck to npr.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
