He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize