he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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