She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize