it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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