Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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