Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
