Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
