if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
