batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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