i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
