thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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