Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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