I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
