did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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