You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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