watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
