I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
only if we run a train.
done.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
