is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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