Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
