Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
