you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
