i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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