Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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