As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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