the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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