We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm always down for nudity.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
tell me about the eggs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
