I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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