used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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