nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
