She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize