i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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